My pet hate as regards Amsterdam is not the dogs, which contrary to people
are not bothered by taboo control, but the people who step in the stuff. How
clever does one have to be to spot a dog turd lying on the pavement? And
don't tell me that everyone has a couple of flies on the payroll and
therefore walks on merrily, gaze directed skywards. We all know how to stomp
down on a fifty pound note with lightning speed when one happens to be lying
around in the street, so it should be possible to apply the opposite trick
for the opposite purpose. I would therefore suggest that the large signs
depicting dogs producing crossed-out turds which the sub-municipal council
for the Old South city district has recently had erected in various places
in a fit of originality should be replaced by foot-stomping devices, to be
concealed in close proximity to freshly deposited mounds of the stuff so as
to get imminent stepper-inners to pay attention by producing a sharp kick
against the foot.
I would regret to see an anti-turd laser detection device being developed by
those who simply cannot live without this release. However, we must realise
that although it is the majority which have the floor in a democratic
society, it's the minority which has its way. Just ask the sub-municipal
council for the Central city district … *
* (This authority being the result of such supreme manipulation on the part of the Municipal Executive as to render the 90% majority of no-voters inadequate to stop it being formalised.)
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